Now, I am sure that many of you can attest to the
fact that people do weird/dumb/scary/random shit when they are drunk. Well this is completely true of the event I am about to tell you. It occurred at the very beginning of the school year, and I have yet to forget about it.
There I was, resting and relaxing in my hammock after a thrilling Friday night, including fraternity parties and taco bell runs. In my 'sober' mind, I thought, "Sure, let's just take a quick sit in the hammock and then go to bed". Little did I know I would be playing witness to one of the greatest 'Snatch' events ever. (Snatch is simply a fun way of saying stealing). Anyways, so as I am staring at the stars and cars passing by, I started to hear this obnoxious noise. It was a combination of clanking high heals on the
sidewalk, girls giggling, then laughing boisterously, and then lots of SHHHH!ing; playing on repeat. With that, I quickly sat up in the hammock to see what was going on.
I watched as the group of five or six girls walked towards my house, or so I imagined they were doing. My initial reaction was that it was some of my friends trying to scare me. I quickly realized that I had no clue who any of the girls were though, and almost felt relieved as they started walking towards a different house. Now, call me crazy, but at that moment nothing seemed weird about the situation. Five
or six girls walking up to an all-male house on a Friday night=a good time had by all. However, this was apparently not the plan the girls (or the house full of guys) intended upon, as I watched the girls creep up on the side of the house. It was at this moment that I was truly engaged.
Now, obviously the girls were hammered drunk, given the rate at which they would stumble, fall, then sway as they tried to get back up again--it was humorous to count the number of times it happened (7). And even though the girls were
drunk, and it did seem oddly strange that they were going to the house so late, I still figured nothing eventful was going to come of this. Wrong.
One girl, I suppose the ring leader, continued to creep up to the house (which mind you, leaves the front door wide open all the time). As she made her way to the porch, I heard the others saying things like, "Hey, that's not our house" or "What are you doing, we don't live there". In my mind, this chick was sadly confused. But,
no matter how much her friends attempted to stop h
er, she was head strong and made it to the top of the porch. For a second in time, everything went completely silent and still. I craned my neck out to see what exactly this psycho girl was doing. That's when it happened...
SHE SNATCHED THEIR LAWN GNOME!!
That's right, this crazy girl went up to a house full of strangers and snatched the front yard gnome off of the porch. I watched as she held it over her head, like it was a trophy, and then raced down the stairs. She quickly stuffed the gnome in her purse, and I could hear things like, "I did it!! I did it!" or "I have always wanted to take that gnome!!" being shouted as the girls high tailed it down the street and to their rightful house.
With that, I took it as my cue to go to bed. When I woke up the next morning, I literally thought it was a dream, and I told all of my roommates. We had a good laugh at my bizarre dreams and left it at that. But surprise, surprise: On my way to classes that Monday, when I walked past the house, I noticed the gnome was actually gone.
Good Lookin' Out,
Camille
Bahahahahahahahahahahaha!
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